This Part 1 post will explain and also demystify the concept of twin flames. Yes, twin flames are real, but of course it’s a highly subjective concept, and so my recommendation is to read any guidance on twin flames written or spoken about by people who have not experienced the twin flame dynamic in their own lives – with discernment.

A lot of the information out there that attempts to debunk the idea of twin flames as a myth does so with good reason behind it, and that’s because there is a lot of romanticizing, confusion and misunderstanding around the idea of a twin flame, and so many of these more ‘wary’ views can actually be informative and helpful in some ways for people caught up in a romanticized or distorted impression. But I will try to cover all angles here.

Twin flames are energies – not people – and these energies have one mission only and that is spiritual ascension work – not to be your other half, your stability or your devoted husband or wife, which can be all great qualities in a soulmate relationship. Your twin flame is your awakener and vice versa, that’s why they’re called flames – because they are pure spiritual fires of creativity, transmutation and purification. Twin flames is also a very important ascension topic, which is why I’m including it here, because it really is the ultimate ascension relationship, and if you haven’t met a twin flame, you may be aligned to in the future as part of your ascension journey.

Twin flames are contracted to come into a lifetime, but can’t come in unless or until the energy vibration is optimal because twin flames are energy vibrations that accelerate personal ascension. Your energy must be cleared of enough of karmic energy, old programming and dysfunctional emotional patterns, particularly relationship patterning, and you must be also well into your awakening path to be able to hold the energy of the twin flame in your life. Again, this is because your twin flame is an ascension accelerator, and you can’t activate ascension at an accelerated rate if you still have too much dense energy to clear and awaken to within yourself. True twin flames are still fairly rare, but will activate more and more as the planet and humanity ascends. Your twin flame will always work with you continually in the higher dimensions, regardless if you meet a 3D twin flame or not, because we all have a twin flame — it’s the energy of our higher self.

It’s also the case for many people that a twin flame is not contracted to come into the lifetime, and that doesn’t mean they’re not walking an ascension path; it just means that they’re not doing it in the twin flame way. In fact, it’s very easy to confuse twin flame relationships with soulmate or karmic ones. If your relationship is “easy,” feels solid, but also deeply spiritual, running on a divine level, part of your ascension path, and maybe even intense, you’re likely in a soulmate relationship. If your relationship is intensely painful but also has intense attraction energy, you’re likely in a more karmically-influenced relationship, and this is for the purpose of self-healing. Twin flame relationships can be both painful and deeply spiritual, and definitely intense, but not in the same ways as the other types (and I’ll talk about this in Part 2). When someone draws a twin flame into their life, it will never be with romanticized eyes, needs or attachments. In fact, most twin flame meetings in 3D are jarring and can even be very energetically traumatic because they are a real-life meeting with your higher self – they are you.

Once a twin flame is activated in 3D, i.e. an actual partner has been met, an intense balancing process begins that takes your ascension process to a whole new accelerated level, and this process can be both brutal and euphoric at the same time (two words that also describe ascension). All relationships show mirrors up to ourselves, but your twin flame mirror is a constant, no exceptions, no breaks, 24/7 mirror. It can’t sustain itself whatsoever on relationship drama, falsity, need, ego or romanticism. In other words, it can only survive in the divine field, not the 3D dysfunctional matrix field, and that’s because it’s an entirely higher self energy. The very second that any falsity or neediness comes in from one of the partners, the energy flame breaks down and the other partner immediately detaches with uncontrollable force. This is the true tell-tale sign you’re in a twin flame dynamic – an absolute zero-tolerance policy for falsity, ego, projected wounds, drama and power plays. In many sources out there about twin flames, this uncontrollable detachment is often called the “runner” dynamic. Your twin flame is your higher self mirroring you, and so it only makes sense that it can’t tolerate or sustain any ego structure dynamics because the higher self can’t, and this is how the twin flame accelerates your awakening.

The twin flame balancing phase is an accelerated clearing and detachment process of all that is not of the higher self, but every twin flame relationship will be different, of course, because every person is different with their own unique energy signature, soul blueprint and ascension level and mission. If you’re continuing to question whether or not you’re in a twin flame relationship beyond a few weeks or so into meeting, then you’re likely not. New twin flame relationships simply feel WEIRD and are usually indescribable. Twin flames also tend to “just know” they’re in a twin flame relationship, but I’ll talk more about this in my Part 2 discussion.

The ultimate goal of the twin flame relationship on earth is to balance together so that one or both partners ultimately ascend, but there is also another purpose and that’s to create a unified spiritual path (flame union, or blending) that contributes to spiritual awakening on the collective-planetary level once it’s put into action, both energetically (always) and 3rd dimensionally (often, but not necessarily). If this unification is never reached due to failure to balance, the twin flames will not stay together in 3D. The distinct twin flame balancing process is always about removing ego and all levels of attachment from the relationship, even if that needs to be full 3D separation. This must be done, otherwise the twin flame energy breaks down and separates with painful force until the energies can rebalance themselves. Unforced detachment, however, is actually the true aim of the twin flame union in 3D (and there’s a big difference between forced and unforced detachment). Ascension cannot happen with any remaining ego attachments, and so neither can twin flame relationships sustain themselves.

If you’re not currently in a relationship, but you’re longing for one or feeling unfulfilled or unhappy without one, then you still have healing work to do before a spiritually-aligned relationship can come in. Once enough healing has taken place, you’ll know because you will have little attachment or need to have a relationship partner anymore. In this space of non-attachment, either a soulmate or a twin flame (or, for some, a divinely aligned solo path, which actually a twin flame relationship is experienced as throughout various phases) will be automatically evident and feel completely aligned with you and in flow. If you’re still in the healing phase, just keep doing the healing work and know that your path will line up if you continue to focus, with gratitude, on the work you are accomplishing in yourself. Wishing for a partner when one isn’t there is completely normal, but it is indicative of an unhealed part of you that’s having trouble looking at itself. This is a time when your self work is very important to honour and go through diligently.